Still, I love you!!! (Part I)

'Congratulations! Welcome on board. See you in Bangalore for training' was the sentence that changed my life. I was selected by the COMPANY through campus placements and I had to travel to Bangalore for training. After reaching Bangalore, I hired a cab at the railway station and started for my destination. All through the way to the hotel I made myself ready for the new challenge with some motivational thoughts, remembering my struggle to reach this position and my dream to get BIG. I checked into the hotel, got into the formal attire and reached the seminar hall. Only few people were present in the hall by the time I reached and I told myself "For once, its a good start. You reached on time dude!!!". By 10 AM the hall is almost filled with the candidates (my gonna be colleagues) to be TRAINED. A panel of executives from various verticals of the COMPANY entered the hall and started the inaugural speech. After some bla bla bla, the session ended and we were asked to complete our joining formalities. A person went to the stage and asked if everyone have their health tests done. Almost everybody have had their health tests done and are carrying the reports with them (we were asked to get the tests done before we reach for training). Then came the real query "Is there anyone who did not get the tests done?", for which I saw a few raised hands, mine included. There were quite a few of us who need to get the tests done and we were sent to Appollo for the tests. There were two cabs arranged for the transport and I got into the second one which started around 30 mins after the first one left. We reached the hospital and there came the moment of my life.

It was there, I first saw Seema.  As I entered the corridor, I saw a cute girl talking to her friend. The moment I saw her, I think I fell for her. I could hear my heart beat pretty heavily, blood rushing from my feet to the heart, ears went deaf and the tongue dumb. In the meantime my crooked brain was busy calculating few things - She is a few inches shorter than me, height is OK! She is fair, colour OK! She moves good among people, well educated I guess! She is 'very well' dressed!!  "aah stop that crap you idiot!!! You dint even know who she is and what the hell are you dreaming about? height and weight?" questioned the evil part of me. Ya right! I had to listen to the evil side and started on the purpose I came to the hospital. The tests were done and I was asked to wait in room no 6. There you go! she is in the room. I then saw many familiar faces. Oh ya, they were with me in the cab! my gonna be colleagues! btw what is she doing in that room? my mind still din come to normal senses. It was the room where only the employees of the COMPANY were asked to wait. An unknown ecstasy has hit me and I got lost in the moment that made me realize that SHE IS ONE OF THOSE 'GONNA BE COLLEAGUES'.

"Hey dude! done with all the tests?" asked Arun, my best friend. 'Hmmm' I nodded to confirm. We then completed the rest of the formalities and left for the hotel. I did not talk to her that evening. Well, I had a reason for that - She was talking to other guys - jealous I was and of course an idiot.

The training period was scheduled for just a month, at the end of which we would be given the details of our postings and the projects. The first half of the training period went very slow with all those boring technical stuff but the later half was fun with few competitions and team building games. We were a group of 30 odd employees and this 30 days got us very close. We had several late night parties in the hotel and used to go clubbing on weekends. It was more fun than training. Well, getting back on the actual track, I did not interact with her much in the first half of the training period, thanks to the stupid jealousy. But all of a sudden, the teams got shuffled and we both were in the same team for the competitions and the games. We got to know each other a little better this time.

One pleasant evening, we were returning to our rooms from the seminar hall after the session and to my surprise it was only two of us walking in the corridor (all the others went on a city trip). It was then I spoke to her for a longer duration. Actually it was my heart that was speaking. Though that was the first time I somehow felt as if we were known to each other for years. I shared many of my hidden emotions with her - problems back home all along my childhood, my struggle to get into one of the best management institutes of the country, etc etc. I knew it was a boring start but couldn't help much. "Did I bore you?" I asked her with a low voice. "Not at all. In fact it felt great to know those things about you" she replied with her lovely voice which spelled a special kind of magic on me.

Days were passing pretty fast and the team got closer with each passing day. There were more parties, more movies, more dining outs, more leg-pulling and more fun. Meanwhile, Seema and I were getting to know more of each other and we became very good friends. And finally the day has come, the day when our training ended and we would be given the details of our posting locations. We all assembled in the seminar hall for the last session of our training and I was sitting beside Seema. A lady entered the hall, wished us all the success in our careers and started to read out the details in the alphabetical order. Slowly came the name I was eagerly waiting for, "Seema Agarwal - Chennai" announced the lady. Seema was relieved hearing the name Chennai as she wanted only and only Chennai (only God knows the reason). My preference was in the order of Hyderabad, Bangalore, Pune and then Chennai. But now my heart started to pray for the reverse to happen. Now I too wanted Chennai, for obvious reasons. The lady entered the names starting with alphabet V and I was anxious like a kid waiting for his slip test results. I looked at Seema, she was a bit anxious too. "Vikram Singh - Hyderabad" the lady read out my location details. I felt disappointed. My dream location appeared like hell to me. Seema looked a bit happy though, as we both got the locations we were wishing for. "Congrats dear!" she said with a cute smile on her beautiful face. It was then I saw something amazing! A disappointed face of her as she turned around! Yes, her disappointed face looked amazing to me, its because she was upset that I got a different location.

I decided to leave for Hyderabad on the same day. We reached the station at 5:30 in the evening. A few friends came down to give me a send off with Seema being the only girl who came down. The train reached the station at 5:45, 15 mins before the scheduled departure. I started the bye-bye session by hugging all my friends and wishing them all the best. I was talking to everyone but her, fearing that I may get emotional. "Dude this is too much!" She said with a lovely smile thinking I forgot her. I went to her, smiled, shook her hand and said "Bye bye ra, be in touch". I felt I was about to burst into tears and walked away swiftly from her towards the train. "Miss you!!!" I heard her saying aloud from behind. I did not reply to that. Actually, I was not in position to speak a single word. I went blank for few minutes. I waved them all goodbye standing at the door as the train moved.

I reached Hyderabad the next morning and joined the Gachibowli office. The projects were being assigned to all the new joiners in a phase wise manner. I got the chance right away and was given the project in telecom vertical. I was pretty happy with the project I got. A week after joining the office, I called Seema and that call set off phase-2 of my story.

I was calling her after a gap of 10 days. I was so eager to hear that lovely voice of hers. "Hello CR! wassup?" I heard that mesmerizing voice and went mad in happiness. "Am good, how you doing?" I asked. We then had a good talk catching up on several things that happened in these 10 days. We spoke for around an hour that day. I thanked Graham Bell for inventing the phone, it was the only medium of contact between us. We used to talk quite frequently and I was becoming impatient day by day that I am away from her. Suddenly after so many days it struck my dumb mind that Chennai is only a night's journey from Hyderabad. Pretty lazy mind. I started off the very next weekend for Chennai. I got into the train and called Seema. "WTF!!! are you serious you are reaching Chennai tomorrow morning?" she screamed in excitement. "Yep" I replied pleasantly controlling my own excitement. "Would you be there at the station to receive me?" I asked. "Definitely yaar" I got the answer I wanted. By the time I reached Chennai, it was raining a bit. As soon as the train entered the station, I ran to the door and my eyes started searching for her in all directions. I got down the train and searched for her all along the platform but couldn't find her. I was pretty disappointed and gave her a call only to know that she is on her way to the station. In a short while, I met her outside the station. She took me around Chennai taking me to all the places to visit. In the evening we went to her apartment where she is staying with one of her colleagues. "Is it ok if I come to a girls' apartment?" I thought to myself and asked the same to Seema. "Don't be stupid. You can come happily. And to make you feel even comfortable, my roommate is out-of-station." She replied.

We entered her apartment at 7:15 in the evening. Immediately she went inside asking me to make myself comfortable and that she will be back in a few minutes. I settled in the living room in front of the TV and started watching cricket. It was an interesting match of cricket, India Vs South Africa with Sachin and Sehwag at the crease. I was completely involved in watching the match and dint care much about anything else. Suddenly I heard her say "interesting match, ha?" which brought me back into this world. I turned around to see her standing right behind me. She got herself into her night wear holding two glasses and a bottle of scotch. Looking her like that made me ask myself only one question again and again - "how can one be so beautiful?" We then had the drinks and the scotch started working on us. We started talking about every irrelevant and stupid topic in this world, we laughed a lot with our silly jokes and we spoke few emotional stuff - about our pasts, families, etc. Suddenly, we fell silent for few minutes and I could hear the rain outside. My heart started inclining towards romantic side of me and I could feel the heat of the moment. "Dude, I think you better realize that your are just a good friend to her and shut your senseless thoughts" reminded the evil side of me. In fact all these days, whenever I felt that am developing feelings for her the evil side of me kept warning me of the practical issues. I used to check myself many many times if am actually in love with her. I couldn't get the answer. But at that moment I just lost and even the evil side could not curb the feelings. I realized that this was the only day in the recent past when I am so happy. I could feel the amazing chemistry between us and felt like grabbing her into my arms. That was the moment I got my answer - I am actually in love with her and that she is the one for me. "I think its time for you to leave" she said as if she read all the thoughts going on in my mind. I gave her a surprised look to which she responded softly "actually you can stay here for the night but you know....(silence)...." I got the meaning and said "Thats not an issue. I can understand" and started to leave. "Where are you gonna stay?" She asked. "I'll go to my friends place in Anna Salai" I replied. She came out along with me and wished me goodbye with a warm hug.

That day changed my life drastically. I just had the best feeling of my life - love. I was imagining my beautiful future with her but at that moment, I could not foresee that god had different plans for me.

Still a long way to go...

An year of Sh'eeeee't - In(tro)duction

The feedback I received on my first post 'An year of Sh'eeeee't - The beginning' gave me enough motivation to continue and take this all the way. So here I am, continuing the story from the point where I left.

After we cleared the health checks, the In(tro)duction program kicked off.

Once we are done with all the joining formalities at the Central Sheeeeeting Location, the HitleR ordered us to reach the same place next day at 8 in the morning, 'POSITIVELY'. We all started back to a** palace in the evening and after driving half the distance, the guy sitting next to me yelled "Guys!!! Baba did not get into the vehicle!!!". We went back to CSL to get Baba and by the time we reached CSL, he was wandering all around the area as if he is searching for his lost testicles. He got into the vehicle and we resumed our journey back. "What were you doing there Baba?" the sardar in the vehicle enquired. "I thought that place is meant to Sheeeeet and was doing my duty for an extended duration" he replied. We reached the a** palace in 30 mins and all the Tabaquis got lost in their mobiles. We were allotted one double occupancy room for every three persons as part of cost cutting plans. As a result, one person had to sleep on the floor every night. Hell. We had the first flavor of the treatment we are going to receive in the future but I took it in a positive manner. Yeah, I took every thing positive those days as I was highly MOTIVATED and LOYAL to the comp (I would have received the title 'Most Loyal Employee' if something of that sort existed).

With the reporting time at CSL being 8 AM, we have set the alarm to 5. But as usual, am the last to wake up after Indian Tabaqui and Motu Tabaqui and had to jump into my shoes directly from bed. Since its the first day, we tried hard to reach on-time. We got into the car and started our journey to CSL. We observed that the AC was not running and asked the pilot to run the AC (The heat was unbearable). "Sir, we are asked not to run the AC as it is against the comp policy to provide an AC vehicle to trainees" replied the pilot. We just had the second essence. We managed to reach CSL by 8:15 and headed straight away to the guest house for having breakfast. Just hearing that idly is on the menu, Niagara started flowing inside my mouth. I took some 6 idlys and was very eager to swallow them. I tried to cut an idly with the spoon only to realize that a saw would be needed to cut that. The idly was strong enough to break Sachin's bat if used as a cricket ball. Soorma immediately started an NPD (New Product Development) session on how to develop cricket balls from those idlys. "Dude, we can make cricket balls out of these" he started. "Yeah man" I agreed. "The ball will be called the 'bhalla breaker' and the shape will be non-spherical" he said. "What the hell is a non-spherical ball?" I questioned. "One that is made out of Sheeeeet like this" he smiled for a moment and replied. After a minor war with the idlys, we all gathered in the lecture hall for the sessions to begin.

The 'POSITIVE 8' has become 11 and the program started with a ppt about the overview of the greeeep with the Sheeeeet in focus. The effect of the speech was more powerful than consuming a bottle of sleeping pills and as soon as they started, I fell asleep sitting in the last row. By the time I came out of my dream world, it was finance and again, I gave a damn to it and continued my dreams. Next came marketing and this time I was a little more interested than the previous sessions. We were told the person came all the way from our commercial capital branch to deliver the (fill in the blank). He started speaking and I was all involved and forgot rest of the world. He spoke for half an hour and to my shock, the speech involved every thing in the world except marketing. "WTF is he saying?" I thought but got to one conclusion that in here marketing is just another name for logistics. Ha haaa... it covered both my majors and minors with no real reference to either subjects. I was eagerly waiting for the lecture/speech/presentation on the basic profile I was hired into - Operations, which to my shock never came up (as there is no such department). Slowly I got used to these kinda shocks as the introduction of all the departments finished.

Next Day:

Enters the real big cartoon character - 'The Snakey' with his f***ing mindless sheeeeet of ice breaking games(if you can call them). We were in the conference hall on that day seated in the order - Motu Tabaqui, Soorma Tabaqui, Manjan Tabaqui, Frustu Tabaqui, Ungli Tabaqui, Pichi Tabaqui and Indian Tabaqui in a semi circular fashion. Snakey started his first game - 'Name The Sheeeeet'. The game was apt to be conducted at a mental asylum... oops!!! we were already there. "I think this guy resembles a species which Na'vis would love put in their zoo on Pandora" I said to Ungli Tabaqui. "Yeah definitely" replied Ungli as we shared a good laugh. After the name game, he started giving some bullsheeeeet motivational speech which instantly motivated me to sleep. Meanwhile, Pichi Tabaqui said "Sir, we are all feeling sleepy". "Oh well then, I think you people should take a power nap now" replied Snakey. That reply developed hell lot of love in me towards Snakey (Please dont think the other way, it was just a feel of gratitude). Immediately my head felt strong magnetic attraction with the table and fell on to it to take the POWER NAP. I was just about to fall asleep when I heard Snakey trying to hypnotise us "Now you are a 5 year old kid". WTF, I opened my eyes in a jiffy to see Manjan Tabaqui being in the same confused state as me. I tried to get back to my sleep but that Snakey a** had other plans than letting us sleep. "You are now playing with a colorful balloon" he continued "An INFLATED balloon". "Now wtf is an inflated balloon?" I thought. I could sense all the Tabaquis trying their best to control their laugh while their heads still having a romance with the table. The next game was "kick your balls" which was actually a good team building game and we enjoyed kicking the balls.

We started back to hotel a** palace in our vehicle after finishing the gaming session. "Anybody ready to consume C₂H₅OH tonight?" I enquired. "Yes" said four other Tabaquis instantaneously with their faces glowing like flood lights. "Wooooo! good response" I thought. We (Motu, Frustu, Soorma, Ungli & Pichi) went to the 'Red Garden' at '8 PM'. The Tabaquis have ordered KFS and two Non Veg Platters. "Cheers to our NEW life" we had a toast (we dint knew that we were the biggest a******s to do that) and started to consume the barley water. After having 650 ml each, as expected, we are in a completely different mode. "I was kidnapped as a child" Soorma Tabaqui flagged off the entertainment.

"WTF" all of us exclaimed.

"Yeah man!! when I was in class 8 someone kidnapped me while I was returning home from school". We started looking at each other wondering if the barley water has started acting on him. "They applied chloroform and took me to an unknown location but with the intelligence am born with, I managed an easy escape". Yeah, we are now clear its the KFS speaking and not Mr. Soorma Tabaqui. But our Motu Tabaqui did not stop "How did you manage to escape, Soorma?" he fired a question. "Ohhh How? I am a karate brown belt dude, you know" replied Soorma. Ungli Tabaqui gave a pissed look and said "Enough! bhand karo ye F.A.L.T.U kahani and Frustu, tell us when would you marry?"

"Fuck you dumb ass, why the hell did you disturb Soorma's flow and turn the attention towards me, that too with such kinda question?" I thought, and gave a bloody look which said 'Do you think I am in a condition to answer that question?' "Yeah, you have to answer it" said Ungli Tabaqui as if he read my mind. With no option left, "Very soon, but it would be in the US" I replied. "How come you get married in the US and that too without our presence" Motu fired one more question. Even I have no idea why I said that. "Who said you wont be available at my wedding? I will make all the necessary arrangements for your visit" I offered and immediately thought "WTF have I done? I just promised a US trip for 4. Hell, who remembers all these things, after all they are drunk like hell" (But these buggers did remember those things the next morning). The evening went well with all the crap in the world till we had no space left in our tummies for any more barley water. It was pretty late by the time we finished and we could not find a vehicle to get back to our palace. So we decided to walk even though we are not in a condition to. Motu Tabaqui and myself were walking together hand-in-hand resembling a newly wedded couple and then Soorma joined us making the trio 'Three _________'. We are not sure how we reached our palace but we reached safe.

With the induction program coming to an end, we were being informed about our respective locations/units on the last day of the program. Everyone left for their respective locations except the Come-RCL guys aka the Tabaquis. We were asked to stay back for getting trained on how to work on 'Yes, I Pee' which would start the very next day, again at CSL.

Next morning, we all assembled in the conference hall for the training session to begin. As usual, I started looking out for a place where the prof's eye could concentrate the least and then settled in one corner. A person entered the room and introduced himself. "Hello, I am Sar-dard-laaya, the Come-RCL head of this location. I will be training you for the next 4-5 days on how to work on 'Yes, I Pee'. Now briefly, please introduce yourself" he said. We all introduced ourselves in three lines 'Name, College, Native place'. He started with the training and I started drawing some strange things on my notes. Hoping I am taking some notes, Manjan Tabaqui peeped into my notes and got amazed looking at the diagrams on the paper ranging from the theme of Diwali to Independence day (kids would draw much better than me). After two hours of marathon lecture we had our lunch at the guest house and are back into the same conference hall. Since Mr. Sar-dard-laaya informed us that he would start the lecture after an hour, all of us got into some playful mood cracking jokes and pulling each other's legs. Manjan Tabaqui took Motu's pen and started writing something. "Motu Tabaqui, Manjan took your PEN" I informed him. I still don't understand the bloody logic which made him look DOWN to check if ITS actually missing. Ungli Tabaqui noticed the gesture and burst out laughing. Manjan and Myself caught it immediately and joined Ungli Tabaqui to enjoy the moment. The rest of the Tabaquis stared at three of us wondering what actually happened and why we are laughing like monkeys. Meanwhile, our Sar-dard has entered the room and started his session. It continued for an hour and he finally said "Guys, we are done for today. Come and meet me in my cabin before you leave". "We are done with today's schedule and we will be leaving now" replied Pichi Tabaqui. "Oh well then, follow me to my cabin" said Mr. Sar-dard-laaya.

We gathered in his cabin and he started to share his experiences and all. Was quite boring but I listened carefully to what ever he spoke. He did not stop for a second until Motu Tabaqui interrupted "Sir our bus will be leaving in 10 minutes, we have to leave". "No no, you have to stay with me for some more time. My son is coming from Hyderabad and I have to pick him at the airport. Till then you people have to give me some company" he replied. "What the hell!!! we have to stay back for two more hours just to sit with him." I thought. I could see the same feeling running in the minds of my friends through their facial expressions. Finally, after 90 minutes his phone rang and we had a sigh of relief. "Thank you guys for bearing me all this time" he said and left. "Beee Seee! Sardar-ne-liya yaar, screwwww" Ungli exclaimed as soon as we got out of the room. All of us were really exhausted listening to his horrible experiences and dragged ourselves to the bus stop.

Next few days, we had 'Yes, I Pee' training in the first half of the day and 'Know your Sheeeeet' session post lunch where we have to meet all the HODs and know the work of their respective departments. After meeting a few HODs, we started to feel the real Sheeeeet which we are to experience in the days to come. "Guys, we dont have any value in this comp" Manjan said sadly. "You realized it very late dear" replied Soorma. Meanwhile, looking at where we are, what we are and what we have, my so called MOTIVATION and LOYALTY started to fade out. On the final day of our 'Yes, I Pee' training, we were informed about our respective locations and all the Tabaquis had to depart their ways.

An year of Sh'eeeee't - The beginning

First of all, before starting, I take this opportunity to thank the people in the Sh'eeeee't for making a person who hate blogs write his own blog. Not out of interest but because he ran out of ways to vent his FEELINGS out. Ok then.

The year in subject started on 18th June 2010 when I received 'the CALL' from a mysterious number informing that I should be joining the Sh'eeee't on 24th. The immediate question I was asked by the lady was "R u still interested in joining the Sh'eeee't?". I was an idiot not to realize the golden suggestion hidden in that question.

With the little time available to report, I had to spend more than 15 grands to 'Join the Sheeet on time'. OK, here I come to the city of lakes and to the a** palace on the morning of the D-DAY. A person at the reception greeted me and started noting my details in the register. "Sir, the ground floor is full with TABAQUIs who have already reported a day ago and you are the last one to report. I'll give you a room on the 1st floor along with Mr. Indian Tabaqui". "Fine" I said "F**k, I am late again. Continuing the trend from IMT" I thought with some kind of pride inside me.  I reached my room and rang the door bell eagerly waiting to see my partner. A person resembling Einstein opened the door. "Hi, I am Indian Tabaqui" he said. "I am Frustu Tabaqui" I replied and smiled.

"We have to leave in 15 minutes, the cab is waiting outside" Indian Tabaqui said. "Oh god" I said and rushed into the washroom to 'fresh up'. 5 minutes later someone started banging the door and screaming to open the door. Surprised, worried and frustrated, I opened the door to see a dude saying "Hi, I am Mota Tabaqui". "F**k you ass, is this the time and place for introduction?" I thought of shouting at him before he continued "I need to use the washroom, its URGENT". "wait a minute" I said and slammed the door on his face.

We all got ready and I am busy polishing my shoe (I did this earlier only for the interviews) when a person came to the room saying "saheb log, sab neeche chale gaye aap log late hogaya". Uff, the trend continues.

We are the only three who are late for the health checkup at some hospital(I don't remember the name) in the city of lakes. When I entered the hospital and reached the place where other Tabaquis were waiting for their pee to get tested, I noticed a cute little girl saying something to the guy next to her with a finger pointing me. I ignored them and went on to get my pee tested. Next was the ERP test errr ECG test. The doctor asked me to remove my shirt and lay on the bed (I doubted if he is a gay). He has put some gel on my chest at random locations, fixed some wires and started some trials on the machine. Suddenly I felt as if I am being treated for a life threatening disease with just the oxygen mask missing on my face. The tests are done and all the Tabaquis are waiting for the results. I saw few nervous faces and thought "These guys must be having HIV" and immediately got lost in thoughts imagining how these people would look after a few days with HIV.

"Hello, I am Soorma Tabaqui and you must be Frustu Tabaqui" I heard a voice in my left ear. I turned to meet a person who seemed like an early man coming directly out of his cave. "Yes I am Frustu Tabaqui and how do you know my name" I asked with a puzzled expression on my face. "I saw your name in the form" he said. After a pause for a minute or so "Which college?" I asked. "XIM" he said. Then the discussion went on the topics ranging from MBA to placements to terrorist attacks to Indian missile tests.

Meanwhile, the health check results are out and everyone started asking each other "Which disease you have?" "What is your blood group?" "What is your Hemoglobin percentage?" "What is the composition of your Pee?" ufffff. None of the Tabaquis have any major ailments and we all have successfully passed the health checkup. Then we proceeded to finish our joining formalities to formally enter the 'SHIT'.

To be continued.......